Working backwards to go forwards…

So often in life, we look at some of the things that we do and wish we didn’t do them.  If it is irritating enough we may even be motivated to go and work with a professional to help us stop doing whatever that behaviour is.  The typical method and in some ways what seems to be the obvious resolve, is to try and understand the past and what events in the past caused us to behave in this way in our ‘today’.  As romantic as self past analysis sounds, it very rarely changes the present or the future.  What is easier is this:

Look at what you are doing in the moment.  In other words what is the evidence you have about this ‘behaviour’ that you want to change.  Now ask yourself “What actions do I take, to make this possible?” Go into as much detail as you can.  Next ask yourself “What feelings do I have that makes me do these actions, that create the result?”

When you have understood the feeling now ask yourself “What thought do I have to have in order to have that specific feeling, that created the action that gives me the result?”

When you have understood your thought you can now become choosy!!  Ask yourself “What thought would I rather have?  What would happen if I changed that thought to  one that would be more productive for me?  How would that change the feeling and as a result change the action giving me a different result?”

In summary … here is the equation:

T-F-A=R      Thoughts create our feelings that drive our actions that give us our results.

Have fun, work backwards in with your problems and enjoy!!